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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25944478">The Moon and Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberAster/pseuds/EmberAster'>EmberAster</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Star Tears, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:47:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25944478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberAster/pseuds/EmberAster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima was 8 when he promised himself to never fall into an unrequited love, to never fall for anyone so hard he couldn't pull himself away. Sacrificing your own eyesight just to continue loving someone was utterly ridiculous. If he ever loved someone who didn't love him back, he'd squash those feelings. Who knew he'd discover love that would hit him like a train one day.</p><p>AU where you cry star tears when you have an unrequited love. Crying star tears eventually leads to blindness</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first foray into fanfiction writing since writing one very cringey piece way back in 2012 on ff.net haha, so I hope you all like it. When I saw this prompt, I couldn't resist the moon/stars imagery combined with these two. Let me know how you liked it!<br/>This probably will only be a few chapters long. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it got too long</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Star Tears AU: people cry stars when they have an unrequited love. If left unresolved, results in blindness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kei vividly remembered the first time he saw star tears. He was 6, watching his brother sob under the moonlight, glittering stars falling down his cheeks that mirrored the stars shining softly in the sky. Kei didn’t understand at first, that something so beautiful meant something so heart wrenching. When he quietly asked his brother what was wrong, Akiteru turned with a start, hastily wiping the stars off his face.</p>
<p>“Onii-san, why are you crying stars?”</p>
<p>“Kei,” Akiteru sighed softly, reaching out to pat his head, “These are called star tears, and people cry these when they have an unrequited love. No one quite knows why, but you’ll learn about these in school someday.”</p>
<p>Kei frowned, despite seeing it once or twice in books before, he still didn’t quite understand what “unrequited love” meant. But his brother was crying, so Kei did the only thing he could think of. He reached his tiny arms out and patted his brother on the head twice.</p>
<p>“Don’t cry, onii-san. It’ll be okay. I’ll protect you!”</p>
<p>Akiteru let out a breathless laugh, a star escaping down his cheek. “Thanks Kei, onii-san will protect you too.”</p>
<p>Kei never saw Akiteru cry stars again, and later he’d come to understand why Akiteru was crying. His brother must’ve moved on, because the tears stopped, and his vision remained.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>When Kei was 8, he learned about star tears for the first time in school. Finally, that night that almost felt like a dream made more sense to Kei. When he learned that prolonged crying of star tears led to worsening vision, then blindness, Kei barely held back a scoff. The idea felt so ridiculous to him, loving someone so much, that even when they didn’t love you back, you’d be willing to hold onto your feelings and sacrifice your vision for it.</p>
<p>That day, Kei promised himself that he’d never allow himself to fall into an unrequited love, at the very least not fall for anyone so hard he couldn’t easily squash his feelings immediately. He couldn’t fathom ever falling that hard. It was stupid, illogical. He’d never allow himself to make such a mistake.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Kei was 10 when he met <em>him</em> for the first time. He was walking home from school when he saw a small pitiful child being bullied by even more pitiful children. Usually he would’ve just scoffed and kept walking, but something about the poor kid made Kei pause. To Kei, this was supposed to just be a blip in his day, something to do on a whim and move on, but from that day forward, Yamaguchi followed him everywhere. He should’ve been annoyed, but something about Yamaguchi softened Kei a little bit. A friend or two couldn’t hurt.</p>
<p>Kei didn’t know when waiting for Yamaguchi before walking school every day became normal. At first it felt more like begrudgingly letting Yamaguchi tag along after his continued persistence, but soon Kei was actually <em>waiting</em> at the intersection to hear Yamaguchi walk up to him. One day, as Kei stood by the wall, headphones partially on to listen for his friend’s arrival, Yamaguchi bound up per usual, an inexplicable ball of energy so early in the morning.</p>
<p>“Good morning Tsukki!”</p>
<p>Kei looked up with a start, mouth slightly agape. “What did you just call me?”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi looked confused for a second, before his face turned red and flustered. “Ah… sorry Tsukishima, it just slipped out. I’m sorry if you didn’t like that. I won’t do it again…” he trailed off.</p>
<p>Kei looked away, expecting irritation to bubble up within him, but instead he only found disappointment at Yamaguchi’s words. “Tsukki…” he softly whispered to himself, rolling the new name around in his mind. His heart fluttered softly, so small he didn’t even notice.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine, I don’t mind. Tsukishima can be a mouthful,” Kei managed to squeeze out, trying to maintain his usual poker face. “Just you though, no one else can call me that,” he muttered as an afterthought, unsure if Yamaguchi even heard him.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi visibly brightened at that, shooting Kei a bright smile.</p>
<p>As time passed, Yamaguchi became a constant in his life. He wasn’t sure when he suddenly began thinking of himself as ‘Tsukki’ instead of ‘Kei,’ but hearing Yamaguchi bound up to him with a cheerful “Tsukki!” sent such a wave of inexplicable warmth over him, that he began to think of himself as Tsukki, Yamaguchi’s Tsukki. This must simply be what best friends are. He only ever wanted to be with Yamaguchi, and no one else.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Tsukki was 14 when he realized he’d broken his promise to himself. He hadn’t meant to <em>fall in love</em>. After seeing Akiteru crying stars that day, and learning about star tears, Tsukki wanted to reject this concept of love. What was so great about it? He wasn’t risking his eyesight for anyone. He didn’t understand why all the other boys in his class would chase after girls. He didn’t understand what was so <em>great</em> about girls. He’d much rather spend time with Yamaguchi. Someone who understood him, supported him, didn’t push him to be anyone he wasn’t. Someone who laughed at his snarky comments, even throwing in his own when they were talking to classmates. Yamaguchi was his best friend, and that’s all Tsukki thought of him until one day his feelings hit him like a train.</p>
<p>Tsukki was sitting in the living room reading a book, his brother watching some romantic drama on the TV. Bits and pieces of the sappy show slowly filtered themselves into his brain.</p>
<p>“- You’re the only one I want to be around!” Tsukki hadn’t meant to pay attention, but the similarity of the emotions to how he felt about Yamaguchi made him perk up a little in his seat.</p>
<p>“I want to spend every waking moment with you. You make me feel warm inside, and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you! You’re it for me,” the man on the screen confessed. Tsukki felt like a rock had lodged itself into his throat. Yamaguchi was just his best friend, right? His feelings were just how best friends felt. Then why was this mushy soap opera on TV describing his feelings so accurately?</p>
<p>“I love you!” the man onscreen practically shouted while the music suddenly swelled, and Tsukki’s world felt like it just imploded into his chest. Love? Did he love Yamaguchi? Is this what love was? If it was, Tsukki didn’t want to give up Yamaguchi. He was his best friend, someone he couldn’t live without. Without him, who in this world would understand him? Stick by him? Suddenly, Tsukki understood why people continued to love with their eyesight at risk. He’d rather go blind than lose Yamaguchi.</p>
<p>However, Tsukki couldn’t imagine Yamaguchi, bright, beautiful, soft Yamaguchi, loving someone as sharp and barbed as himself back. Suddenly, the unrequited situation he’d once scoffed at others for being in, was now his reality.</p>
<p>He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Tsukki stood up and rushed upstairs, shouting a strangled “forgot some homework” when Akiteru shouted in confusion at his sudden escape from the couch. Tsukki could feel his eyes burning, and just barely managed to shut and lock his bedroom door when he started seeing stars fall at his feet.</p>
<p>“No, no, no, no, no!” Already his vision was beginning to blur a little, at his newfound realization, and subsequent horror, welling up within him and seeping out of his eyes. Tsukki sank to the ground as stars continued to fall into his hands.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this took so long! I wrote like, 75% of it, then college started kicking my butt... I figured finishing it and getting it out there was most important! (now that I have a breather after midterms)<br/>It's a first fic after all, so I figured I should stop letting my anxiety worry about how good it is. I still hope y'all like it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At first, Tsukki wasn’t sure what to do with his feelings. He considered confessing, but that thought left as quickly as it came. To him, Yamaguchi was practically the sun. There wasn’t anyone else he was as close to, who he <em>wanted</em> to be that close to. Would Yamaguchi love him back? It didn’t feel possible, and to Tsukki, who’s whole world was Yamaguchi, jeopardizing that by confessing wasn’t an option. He’d be okay. Even if he never got to see Yamaguchi’s beautiful face ever again, he’d still be able to be next to him, hear his voice, his laugh, and that was enough.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>As time went on, Tsukki’s vision got steadily worse. He had to change his prescription on his glasses, but he explained it away as genetics and reading too much. Seeing Yamaguchi felt like the highest of highs punctuated by a cactus growing in his chest, prickling its way up his throat. But Tsukki would bear it. He didn’t often smile anyways.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi was over at Tsukki’s house again. They were sitting on his bed watching a movie together, but Tsukki really wasn’t paying attention. It was getting late, and Tsukki could only focus on the warmth emanating from beside him. He was acutely aware of the mere centimeter between him and Yamaguchi. Suddenly, he felt a weight on his shoulder. Looking down, he saw that Yamaguchi had fallen asleep beside him. A small smile tugged at his lips as Tsukki carefully turned the laptop off and moved Yamaguchi to lay on the bed and tucked him in. Tsukki’s hand hovered over Yamaguchi, pausing, hesitating, wanting to brush his hair away from his face.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi’s hair looked so soft, his eyelashes so delicate. Tsukki really couldn’t believe that he went so long during his childhood without realizing his feelings. A familiar ache welled up in his chest, while his eyes started to sting, a singular star falling down his cheek, casting a soft glow in the dark room. As he gazed upon Yamaguchi’s face, Tsukki let out a dry, humorless laugh. The countless freckles on his face were so beautiful, dotted like <em>stars </em>in the night sky across his cheeks. Tsukki let out another quiet sob, as more stars fell from his eyes to decorate his own face, mirroring the freckles on his best friend.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Tsukki received a call late one night from Yamaguchi. When he picked up the phone, he heard a quiet strained voice through the phone.</p>
<p>“Tsukki, could you uh, come to the park please…” heavy, stuttered breaths followed.</p>
<p>“Yamaguchi, have you been crying? Hold on, I’m leaving now. Take deep breaths,” Tsukki said, while silently running down the stairs and toeing on his shoes before sneaking out the front door. “I’ll be right there. Everything will be okay.”</p>
<p>He broke out into a run, never hanging up the phone. He could hear Yamaguchi’s stuttered breaths on the other side, spurring him to run even faster. He stumbled to a stop outside the park, spotting Yamaguchi curled up beneath the slides. Tsukki walked up and dropped down as Yamaguchi looked up, hearing Tsukki’s footsteps.</p>
<p>Tsukki hadn’t seen Yamaguchi this anxious and flustered in a long time. His shoulders were hunched, as if he were physically trying to curl into a ball. His arms were tightly wrapped around his knees, and his eyes were rimmed red. Yamaguchi couldn’t even meet Tsukki’s eyes as he stumbled over his words, trying to stammer out an apology for making him come out so late. One of his hands hesitantly reached out to grab onto Tsukki’s sleeve, as if to ground himself in safety and familiarity.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi shook his head, “I just really wanted to see you. Everything was too much, so I ran out here, but then the darkness felt like it was swallowing me up with my anxiety too.”</p>
<p>Seeing Yamaguchi like this made an unfamiliar pain spread in Tsukki’s chest. It was like a nightmare where you were drowning, unable to swim. Or running away from something, but somehow slowly moving in place. He wanted to comfort his loved one, wipe those tears away, bring ease to his mind. Tsukki moved on instinct, to both comfort the Yamaguchi’s pain and to ease the pain in his own chest from seeing him so distraught.</p>
<p>He stepped forward, his hand reaching up to brush Yamaguchi’s bangs up and out of his eyes. Yamaguchi looked up, startled by the sudden wordless contact. Tsukki brushed away Yamaguchi’s tears, leaned down, and pressed a kiss to Yamaguchi’s forehead. “It’s okay,” he whispered.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi’s tears dried from shock, staring up at his friend while his brain tried to wrap itself around what was happening. They may have been best friends, but Tsukki very rarely initiated any physical contact like this. He was usually all spikes and snarky comments. “T-Tsukki?” he managed to stammer out, all thought of what was causing his anxiety attack forgotten.</p>
<p>Tsukki stood up and stepped back with a start, his hands leaving Yamaguchi as if he’d been burned. He looked down at his hands, back up at Yamaguchi, then back down again. What had he done? He hadn’t meant to do this, crossing a boundary that couldn’t be undone. Looking back up at Yamaguchi, who was wordlessly gaping up at him, Tsukki filled with dread. He knew. Yamaguchi knew. He’d be disgusted. He wouldn’t be able to stand being near Tsukki anymore. He’d screwed up the one good thing in his life.</p>
<p>The overwhelming feelings welled up and crashed over him like a wave. They swelled up like the tide, breaking the dam in his eyes. Stars began to fall down his face as the feeling of loving someone he was now going to lose engulfed every corner of his mind. Seeing the first stars fall from Tsukki’s eyes, Yamaguchi’s hands shot up to cover his mouth as he gasped, the implications clear to him.</p>
<p>Tsukki couldn’t be here anymore. He couldn’t breathe. He needed to leave, get out, go anywhere but here. But as he turned to run home, he felt a hand firmly grabbing onto his wrist.</p>
<p>“Since when, Tsukki? How long has this been going on? Why did you never tell me?” Yamaguchi asked softly, voice breaking a little staring up at the back of his best friend.</p>
<p>Tsukki silently looked down at the ground, refusing to turn around and face Yamaguchi, as stars continued to tumble to the ground.</p>
<p>“Since when?!” Yamaguchi shouted, voice dry and cracking. He loosened his grip on Tsukki’s wrist as if all his energy just drained out of him. Tsukki just stood there, frozen, afraid. Yamaguchi took a step forward, resting his head on Tsukki’s back, while his arms wormed their way around Tsukki’s waist.</p>
<p>“You could’ve told me, nothing would make me leave you,” he whispered, “I love you too.”</p>
<p>Tsukki felt like his world had imploded and remade itself anew in his chest. He couldn’t breathe. Slowly he turned around, face twisted into an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “You… love me too?”</p>
<p>Yamaguchi looked up, a small smile on his face as he nodded. “Of course. You’re the most important person in my life. How could I not? I never said anything because I was content to just be by your side as your friend, telling myself that you loved me in your own best-friend way.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you’ve been suffering for so long on your own,” he said, brushing away a few stray stars still dotting Tsukki’s cheeks. “But you have me now, and I’ll never stop loving you.”</p>
<p>Tsukki felt something slot into place inside his heart as he gathered Yamaguchi into a tight hug, pressing his face into Yamaguchi’s shoulder. It felt like home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and that's the end!! Do I know why Yamaguchi didn't have star tears even though he loved Tsukki too? Nope ahaha. I just wanted to write the moon and star imagery with Yamaguchi's freckles, world building be damned lol. As first forays into fic writing goes, I think this went okay. Let me know what y'all thought! Constructive criticism always welcomed &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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